I Got Shot in the Butt and Had a Blast by Chris Crawford (English) Paperback Boo

Description: I Got Shot in the Butt and Had a Blast by Chris Crawford This book is a must read for all those who want to rekindle their own memories. Its childhood, Southern humor, with a dash of poignancy that may bring a tear to your eye and then a flood because its funnier than hell. With chapters like: Quilted Mountain Majesty When You Died, I Thought If You Were Good, You Went to Grant Park Fun in and out or Lets Do It Everywhere We Didnt Need Reddmans Lake to Get in over Our Heads A Banny Hen Chicken Is Dumber Than Dirt Hog, the Other Stupid Meat Neighbors Can Save Your Grass My First Kiss or Is That Shotgun Loaded? A Range War Is No Cooking Contest FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description This book is a must read for all those who want to rekindle their own memories. Its childhood, Southern humor, with a dash of poignancy that may bring a tear to your eye and then a flood because its funnier than hell. With chapters like: Quilted Mountain Majesty When You Died, I Thought If You Were Good, You Went to Grant Park Fun in and out or Lets Do It Everywhere We Didnt Need Reddmans Lake to Get in over Our Heads A Banny Hen Chicken Is Dumber Than Dirt Hog, the Other Stupid Meat Neighbors Can Save Your Grass My First Kiss or Is That Shotgun Loaded? A Range War Is No Cooking Contest Author Biography Chris Crawford is the "grand old man" of computing game design. He sold his first computer game in 1978, joined Atari in 1979, and led Games Research there. During his time at Atari, he wrote the first edition of "The Art of Computer Game Design" (Osborne, 1984), which has now become a classic in the field. After Atari collapsed in 1984, Chris became a freelance computer game designer. All in all, Chris has 14 published computer games to his credit--all of which he designed and programmed himself. He founded, edited, and wrote most of "The Journal of Computer Game Design," the first periodical Excerpt from Book The Road to the Fair Stinks, Too Every year when the county fair came, it was a major production. I think it was suppose to give the teachers a break or grease the politicians hands- but all the children in the county got one day off from school for Fair Day. Schools arent known for giving kids a free-bee without condition or consequence. Fair Day was no exception. We had a double dose of both squeezed in that day. The condition was all the high school kids had to participate in a parade. There werent any floats, but a sheriffs patrol car led along with a fire truck or two, both occasionally hitting high notes with their sirens. The high school marching band, playing whatever the band director decided. Local and county officials rode in convertibles a well as the usual queen of something or the other. But the worse of all were the horses high-stepping with their riders dressed like a bunch of wanna be rhinestone cowboys. The condition was a bunch of us had to march in the parade. I dont know how we were selected. I always assumed it was because God hated us. The consequence was we marched at the end of the parade, behind those damned diuretic nags. Since this wasnt the Army or even ROTC, we didnt necessarily have to stay in step. And a good thing it was. Having to march in a parade behind the horses in not my idea of a walk in the park. Its even worse than a walk in the pasture. A close-order drill became bumper people. As you can imagine, some of the rather rowdy ones tried, often successfully, to redirect someone towards a pile of fresh pooh-pooh. Stepping into a doggy-doo was not even close to being comparable to one of those piles. After the parade ended, you could see the green, green grass of the schoolyard covered with more fresh fertilizer than normally used on a hundred-acre soybean farm. There was kicking, wiping and scraping in an effort to remove as much crap(really) as we could before leaving. When it finally came time to board the buses to the fair, most of the horses stinking stool remained at school. Since its just about impossible to remove fresh horse manure from your shoes in less than a week and a half, the bus began to smell like the cattle exhibit six miles before we got there. It was almost six miles to the fair from the school. Get the stinking picture? We also discovered why the ground at the fair is all covered with straw. Most people assume its in case of rain. Bull, or horse, as was the case. Its there to prevent someone who didnt have to march in a parade behind a bunch of dung-dropping horses a decent chance to go home with only dust on their shoes. As for ours, by the time we left, each kids shoe-not shoes, who was unfortunate to have had a close encounter with the crap kind, weighed in at about three pounds apiece. With all the straw we took outta there, Im not sure we even left enough for Fair folks to make a decent bale. Details ISBN1504901525 Author Chris Crawford Short Title I GOT SHOT IN THE BUTT & HAD A Pages 308 Language English ISBN-10 1504901525 ISBN-13 9781504901529 Media Book Format Paperback Year 2015 Publication Date 2015-04-06 Imprint Authorhouse Country of Publication United States Illustrations Illustrations, black and white UK Release Date 2015-04-06 Publisher Authorhouse Audience General We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. With fast shipping, low prices, friendly service and well over a million items - you're bound to find what you want, at a price you'll love! TheNile_Item_ID:93459074;

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